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She never had a choice


How benign and how to never inquire, Cecilia prodded herself into the tread, uninterested albeit, but balanced almost uninvited, strength registered, stream relapsed, she reposed, drooped, stooped, at once into the river, trance like into the stream, with the stream and she became at that moment an object of thought, just for that moment, she existed, and then it was gone, just as the light from a lighthouse would illumine one for a moment, just for a moment, and then it is gone. The wave of thought ceased to explore her, swished past her, smoothly jerked the rough edges, crept inside, caressed, undulating, mockingly, defying indulgence as she watched aghast.

Cecilia amid the glory of the riveting morning fog, pushed forth the tread with dreadfulness aghast, something was amiss, she stooped low, curled her lips tight together, smoothened her pulsating intakes of ghastly chilled air, it stirred her senses momentarily, she felt weak and feeble, the hollowness of what she missed put her at a terrible unease and the compunction she derived out of the situation guarded her hopelessly, against what? Nought! Terrible, she wished grudgingly to offer penitence for her compunction before her might, her affordable restlessness. The beautiful morning ahead, chilling dark night before her retreating with every pitiful effort from the sun ahead, only to resurface later after the former retrieval, this perpetual cycle hoisted her up high naked, she fluttered hopelessly as a flag would hung up in the air tightly woven to the pole, so she did feel, tightly woven into the inconceivable trot, cater, gallop, misfortunes a aplenty, of blank upholstery, of impaled constitutions, unbeknown rationales. She nipped her nerve fibers, titillated her innards, struck the cerebral accords with her ring finger and thumb put together, as one would do to a stopped watch to put it into motion, and she was then on the verge of ascent, she only had to put it into motion.

She ceased to inquire, for nothing transpired, she loosened herself, reduced to the form and propensities of nature, now she was devolved, carried into remote places, fertile green fields with blue airs and yellow tranquility surprisingly keeping on the tail as she got carried away, the hare, mare, here a deer, there an antelope, muddy waters, pure and luminescent raptures of fluttering bird wings, morning glory. Incumbent explosive passion then overtook her, she relished the thought of slipping into this farewell further, but here it was, for the apotheosis of her transcendental mystique was long gone and she was in the slopes of decline, she was staring into the abyss, and perhaps she should not have , for it all appeared so divinely edgy, oddly reminiscent of her fatigued pleasure, of her purpose, of her past, and of her present, for it seemed as if, she was going to rest there for a long…. long time to come, she did not want to leave. It was as if, she was catapulted into the dark waters of nature, only she stuck upon the chords of vengeance for the nature's disregards hitherto, and has found grooves of discomfiture, to impress fecundity.

Blood gushed out of her toes as she stuck her foot into the fell tree ahead, she did not notice, 'Ah! what a moment of rejection, just when I was upheld and transported to the grandest imaginations' she observed, as the profusion of blood ceased, and she held a hand to it, tied her scarf to it, she did not want to let the momentary detour spoil her moment of elation, but it did happen already, and the yellow foam by that time pushed beneath her the vague and unclear fog, moonlit cold blue air, and now she was in the middle of this new presence, it bored her, she loved the darkness, not the omnipresence of day light, she felt naked and unavoidable, she never had a choice.

Slowly, but gradually, city woke up, shook the slumber, left the dreams behind them, on the cot, between the wrinkles of blankets, and they walked ahead, trancelike. wagons, cars, buses, alive again, screamed past her, factories spat dark brown smokes of disgust, formless, they did take form as they ascended into the sky, but , may be, she never noticed, for it was beyond her, to contemplate the happenings in the sky was not inclusive of her territorial charms. Honking horns inflated the city, which tried to escape out into the atmosphere, beyond the realms of desire, unheeded, it was not natural, neither the automobiles, nor their honking horns.

Somewhere man yelled at his wife, somewhere a child cried for his mother, here, Cecilia mutely embarked on the alighted train of life as she knew it, she never had a choice.

Alighted, she lied, for the train never rested
It trotted, cropped the imaginations
Reduced the angel like fervor, concreted it
Desires defaced, imaginations rebuked, philosophies debunked
Death shared resilience, silence smitten death (demeanor),
Alighted, she lied, for the train never rested

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